Navigating Anxiety in Portugal
Post Asia musings / Europe Blues
After living and traveling around Asia for nearly two years, when I touched down in Madrid, I was surprised to find Europe to be a confusing jolt to the senses. On one hand I thought it would be a great idea to spend a month in Europe with my sister on the tail end of three months of travel. However, landing in a foreign land of people who looked like me, but with whom I could hardly communicate, turned out to be more of shock to my system than the states may have been. I found myself missing my Thai corner food stalls, fresh fruit, and communicating in a new language at which I had actually become quite proficient. My system didn’t quite know how to handle Europe’s late hours of partying or its diet of fine wines and cheeses.
Thus began my real life battle with anxiety. It was one of the first bouts of anxiety I had ever experienced at the time and I was very confused what was happening. Little did I know, it was the first sign the spirituality I had stumbled upon during my two years in Asia would be instrumental to my mental health in the years to come. The presence, mindfulness skills and new tools I had developed touring temples, going months without touching a drink, backpacking, hiking and hammocking around Asia had groomed me for the brutal awakening I would have moving back to the states.
Luckily I was with Annie Lyall and it was our first real solo sister trip. We flew from Madrid to Lisbon and had an excellent time touring around Portugal. Lisbon was one of the most unique, enticing, beautiful and culturally rich cities I've ever encountered and I resolved to live in the moment, insomnia and all. The colors and patterns etched into the walls paint a picture of a deep and twisted history wrought with invasions and wars, and yet a great sense of patriotism prevails. We spotted crystal-clear ocean bedazzling in the sunlight between the tiny, winding alleyways and stopped to take pictures of the trinkets and street art adorning the walls and market stalls marked with irony and zeitgeist
After traveling to Spain, Portugal and Croatia that summer, my sister sent me off at the airport with a printed packet titled ‘Mindfulness for Anxiety.’ I was vaguely disoriented from lack of sleep, confused about which direction my life was headed and completely unaware that it was this exact toolkit I possessed in my hand that would inspire me to pursue a career of teaching these concepts to youth and beyond.